
One day last November, I parked my car on a quiet residential street in Berkeley. I had never been on this small, tree-lined street before and I was full of anticipation. I gathered my bags and packages and made my way up the stairs of the house whose address had been emailed to me. I was going to see Meg.
My friend Meg was once my roommate. We lived together in a rambling old house in San Francisco shortly after I returned from Japan. We hung our combined baseball cap collection along the high molding of the back hallway and soon had merged our sweater collections (imagine your wardrobe doubling overnight— whee!). Meg wasn’t around much, she spent a lot of time at her boyfriend’s in the East Bay, but Wednesday night would usually find us watching West Wing, and she is the only person, besides my best guy friend Paul, for whom I have willingly woken up early to get coffee and hang out with before work.
Meg and I may both be Northern Californians—in love with the outdoors, dogs, and fleece clothing—but we are plenty different as people. She jokes that her version of cooking is to call and order number 27 from the restaurant down the street. When we lived together her room was perpetually clean and organized, mine not always so. But there was something about Meg that felt like family to me. When she eventually moved to the East Bay I was sad—and not just because I lost access to all her lovely sweaters.
The trade off, of course, is that she and Tim did start hosting awesome tamale parties each December.
I’ve never told Meg this, but I’ve always secretly thought that if I were to have a sister—if I were able to pick my sister—I think I would pick Meg.
Since then Meg and I have kept up our friendship in a sporadic but enthusiastic manner. Our schedules sometimes find us planning dinners two and three months out to find a date that’s free (when did we all get so darned busy?), and sometimes we see each other only a few times a year. But it’s always quality over quantity with Meg.
It isn’t always lightness and mirth on the nights we get together. I remember one evening a few years ago when—both of us reeling from respective loss—we sat on the terrace of the Sharffenberger CafĂ© and cried into our red wine and chocolate mousse. At that moment life just felt gutting and the only consolation was a friend who knew how painful things were.
Other times with Meg have made me laugh so hard my stomach hurts. It’s good to have the sort of friend who is able to put you back into your own skin. Meg knows me well enough that I don’t have to explain why something is funny or awful or totally embarrassing; she knows me well enough to point out big picture shifts in my own life that I may have missed. A chat session with Meg leaves me feeling like somehow the world is at rights again.
And she always shows up wearing some item of clothing—usually footwear—that I have at home in my own closet. It’s a good thing we aren’t sisters because we might end up being the sort of sisters who dress alike.
I haven’t seen Meg much lately. I attended her wedding the summer before last—my first big excursion after months of illness. On the top of a mountain in Northern California I watched her and her sweetie pledge their love in a ceremony that was the most moving I have ever been to—perhaps because it was the most like what I might choose for myself (including post-ceremony, specially decorated bridal flip-flops). Then there was Zydeco dancing as the sun slowly slipped behind the mountains in a sunset that seemed to go on forever.

And last summer, shortly after I had returned from Seattle, I met Meg for lunch. She showed up wearing the same sandals that I have (of course) and a black maternity dress. I had known it beforehand but it wasn’t real until I saw her: Meg was having a baby.
(Though to be honest—and this is something that perhaps only Meg will appreciate—I had a hard time remembering it was a baby Meg was having; I kept on thinking in some part of my brain that she was having a puppy.)
Meg’s little one made her way into the world last fall, while I was busy with the literary festival. In the midst of my chaotic inbox was an email with photos of the most adorable little peanut and her name—Maya—which by sheer coincidence is the name I was nearly given and always sort of wished I had been. I couldn’t help feel a bond with this new young thing.

A few weeks later I made my way to the East Bay to see Meg and meet little Maya in their new home, a house Meg and her husband had bought not long before. I walked up the steps, marveling at the paths our lives had taken in the eight years or so since we shared a home and watched West Wing together on Wednesday nights.
And there was my dear friend with her new child.
What words can I use to explain the feeling of seeing a friend with their new baby for the first time? They are at once the same person you’ve always know—how could they not be? Yet, at the same time, they are completely different. They’ve stepped over the threshold and into an experience that carries with it the entire spectrum of human emotion in high relief—taken on an awesome responsibility from which there is no withdrawing. It's not possible to be changed by such a transition; they will never be the same again. The sheer humanity of it makes my heart feel like it has cracked open in a new way and I am left blinking away tears.

And all the while my phone was ringing. I normally would have turned it off—there were clearly far my important things at hand—but my book had just been submitted to editors and it was my agent calling with updates that there was lots of interest. Meg was so excited for me—more excited that I was, even. I was somewhat stunned by the whole experience.
As I sat in my friend’s new house, with her and her baby and my agent on the phone talking about a book deal, it occurred to me that perhaps we’re grownups now. At least we seemed to have picked up all the accoutrement somewhere along the way.
A little later I held Maya while Meg made us both turkey sandwiches and I told her she could take a shower if she wanted. The baby seemed fine to be held by a stranger and I know that parents of newborns rarely get a moment for their own basic life maintenance.
“Are you serious?” she asked me, tempted but somewhat disbelieving the offer.
“Sure, go ahead. We’ll be fine—I’ll call you if she starts to fuss.”
Halfway out of the room Meg turned and looked at me. “You know, people throw you baby showers and give you all this stuff,” she said. “But the true present is someone who comes over and offers to hold your baby so you can take a shower.”
And that meant the world to me, because of course I was far away in Seattle when Meg had her shower. I know that I won’t be able to support my friend they way I would like to as she undertakes the awesome job of raising a person. This baby won’t know me as she might if I were in the Bay Area and able to really be part of her life. This is something that makes me sad.

And so little Maya and I sat in the kitchen—this sun-strewn kitchen in my friend’s new house. I held her and told her important things—like what a wonderful mother she has; how very much she has to look forward to; and how her parents can’t wait to share with her this beautiful world filled with rivers and forests and oceans that they’ve both worked hard to protect.
And I ate my turkey sandwich and it was the best turkey sandwich ever.
Because sometimes the most delicious thing you’ve ever tasted is the sandwich your friend makes for you in those first wondrous and frightening days of her new parenthood, when she is tired and in need of a shower and she lets you hold her child and shares this new chapter of her life with you and you watch as this person you know and dearly love becomes someone’s mother.

I was lucky enough to see the two Ms again last week—on a dizzying swing through the Bay Area. I now have a new definition of sheer pleasure: dancing in the kitchen with your dear friend and her young child to the pop tunes of George Michael—which only goes to show you that perhaps we haven't entirely grown up.
(But our musical tastes are terribly dated, it is true.)
Nine-month-old Maya, however, loves George.
Did I mention that I adore this child?
Her mom, too.
Thanks to Meg for letting me show off her gorgeous girl.

TURKEY SANDWICH
What can I tell you about a turkey sandwich? I probably shouldn't even try—I don't make too many sandwiches, you see. I had to nick the bread for this version from my brother's house because I don't even keep sliced bread on hand. In my recipe index on this site I have a category for "sandwiches and assorted lunchables" and there is one measly entry—for stuffed pita pockets.
Guess I don't really "do" sandwiches.

The problem, I find, is that most sandwiches are boring. Unless they are an amazing combination of flavors and ingredients, they tend to fall flat for me. Lettuce, maybe a tomato, some kind of meat or cheese—are you falling asleep already?
Of course, in my world there must be mustard.
And cheese—preferably a sharp cheddar.
And in an attempt to make sure that every bite doesn't taste exactly the same, I like to use salad mix as a stand in for plain lettuce. At least there you get a bit of radicchio, maybe some arugula, some sort of texture and flavor complexity. I don't usually buy salad mix (I find lettuce tastes better and keeps longer when bought by the head), but I do for sandwiches.

And I like to add sliced radish, for some crunch and bite.
Or sometimes I'll toss a handful of capers on top. That perks things up.
All that said, I'll eat turkey sandwiches with Meg and Maya any day of the week.