Doing What You Love
Last weekend in Seattle, I walked up to the “Ask a Master Gardener” booth at the University District Farmers’ Market. I wanted to ask a question about leaf mulch.
Yes, people—compost is my new obsession. More about that another time.
The friendly women staffing the booth commented on the flat of raspberries I was carrying, and suddenly we were talking recipes and I was writing down the address for this site. I don’t usually talk about my blog, but I mentioned raspberry curd and when they asked how to make it I realized it was safer to send them here than to try to remember the proportions on my own.
Turns out that one of the women reads the site regularly—one of the nicest readers ever—and she jumped up and gave me a hug (thanks, A!) and we proceeded to have the best conversation—about food and gardening and Seattle. It was a real pleasure.
She also, in the nicest way possible, mentioned I haven’t been posting very often. And she’s right, I haven’t.
It’s not that I don’t want to post—I do. I have things I want to write about, to share. But I have to admit, I’m going through some stuff. There’s been some life/family upheaval that makes things feel like the ground is shifting under me, but I think there’s something more. I think it has something to do with doing what you love.
Doing what you love should be a good thing, right? Who hasn’t dreamed of taking their hobby and turning it into their business? But what happens when that act of joy becomes the thing you wake up to every morning—the thing you have to do? Or, even worse, the thing you dread doing?
Our hobbies are hobbies because we enjoy doing them. If ever that changes we give them up and go on to something else. But what to do when the hobby becomes a responsibility? How do you cope when your joy becomes your job? How do you stay inspired, stay creative, how do you keep up the momentum?
I’m not entirely sure, I’m trying to figure it out. The more writing becomes my work, the more arduous it sometimes feels. I’m not sure how to retain that bit of wonder that made it so special in the first place. I don’t want it to become the thing I dread. When I first started writing about food it felt dizzying, thrilling, like falling in love. Now I’m afraid I’ve hit the seven-year itch.
And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, I know how many people would LOVE the opportunity to do something they are passionate about for work. It is a dream, truly. Perhaps I should just suck it up and keep my petty problems to myself (my journalist friends would laugh at this quandry—"shut up and make your deadlines"—but they're more pragmatic than I; they never tried to be creative writers in the first place).
I do know this: after two years spent writing a book, the last place on earth I want to be right now is in front of a computer. These days I’m seriously thinking of chucking the whole thing and taking up goat farming (You only think I'm joking). I've considered going back to teaching, gardening, anything but writing.
And I’m not the only one.
Well, perhaps I am the only one considering goat farming as an alternate career (don’t you think I could learn to make good goat cheese?), but I’m not the only one trying to figure out how to keep the spark alive.
This weekend I was fortunate to attend the first ever BlogHerFood conference, and maintaining momentum was definitely a topic of discussion. I was relived to discover that I wasn’t alone in my ennui. Blogs have been abandoned, people have migrated over to Twitter, where they can chat all day long about food and cooking without the concentrated work that writing a post requires. Some people say Twitter will be the end of blogs, that we’re evolving to a new platform (I have certainly succumbed). Some days that feels true.
I don’t know what the future holds. The one thing I know is this:
I love this little place I come to, this virtual tea party. The people who read this site and leave thoughts and comments are so dear to me. I never could have predicted how much the site would change my life, open my world, bring with it fascinating people: fellow bloggers who’ve become friends, readers who feel like friends, sweet comments from around the world, kind notes in my inbox, and a woman at the farmers’ market who jumped up to hug me. It means so much to me, truly. I don’t even have the words to say. I am a better person for it, and I am grateful. More than you can know.
So perhaps you could do me a favor, if you don’t mind. I’d love to hear about what you do that you love—be it hobby, job, or dream—and how you keep the spark alive. Whether it's cooking, writing, a relationship, or underwater basket weaving—do you ever run out of steam with the things you love? What do you do to avoid/get over the burnout? Do you take a break or plow through? Is it better to churn out something uninspired, or wait for inspiration to strike? Have you taken a pleasure and turned it into a job? (and how did that work for you?). You can even tell me what you’d like to see on this site. I’d love to hear. These days I’m looking for inspiration.
But mostly I want you—and the dear, sweet woman at the farmers’ market—to know that it’s not that I don’t want to be here. I do. I’m just trying to find my way back.
The flowers here were grown by a fellow gardener in my community garden plot. She devotes half of her allotment to them, it's what she loves. I wonder, does she ever get dahlia-growing burnout? I can't imagine anyone could get tired of flowers, but it's never been my job. You don't know until it happens to you.
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88 comments:
I think it is great to do what you love. I think I am doing what I love to do, cook, eat and blog. It is hard to keep motivated on the cooking and blogging part sometimes, but I think taking time out away from the computer and kitchen is a great way to re-charge. I enjoy your posts they are thought provoking and down to earth. I look forward to more of your posts, Tea. Hugs!
I can't share with you what you asked. I'm still trying to work out whether what I think my passion is and if so, what the hell do I do with it?!
But, I did want to say that your writing is simply an indulgent delight. I read a lot of blogs, food and otherwise. Your writing, photographs, ideas always grab me the most. You have a way of expressing yourself that is a true, true gift (and I follow you on Twitter so I really do know!). In whatever form you write or end up writing, it will not only truely engage people but more importantly, it will move them.
Thank you for sharing this gift in the way that you do.
Wonderful post, Tea. This is often my fear about acting. I LOVE acting, but sometimes when I'm scared to go to an audition, it's as much because I'm afraid to succeed as to fail. Silly, but true. Or like how when I say I live in Paris, my American friends often say "that must be like a dream come true" - and it is. But it's also doing my grocery shopping and cleaning my apartment and looking for a job that actually makes money and a lot of other not-very-dreamlike things.
I think the secret to this kind of thing is to slow down and appreciate the moments you love when they come along. (But you know that...) For example, I walk by the Sacre Coeur every day to pick up the girl I babysit for, and I plow my way through the gawking tourists and brush off the people trying to sell me things and feel annoyed. And then some days, I look up at that gorgeous white church at the top of the hill and think "wow, I live in PARIS."
Also, I remind myself that people change, life changes, and I can do lots of different things. If your love and calling is to be a writer right now and one day that becomes drudge and duty, maybe life is telling you it's time to be a goat farmer and learn to make goat cheese! (I'd be sad not to read your blog, don't get me wrong, but people fall in and out of love - even with their dreams!)
Hello !
I have been reading your post for over a year now and you were my inspiration to actually start my own blog. You just had so much fun posting and it was not just food, it was all about life it's ups and downs and thatz what I loved the most. Take your time if you so feel. One does feel blocked or stuck if something is done on a very continuous basis. So well described as the seven year itch. Keeping the spark alive is a tough job and everyone either evolves there own way or just moves on. Take your time and do what you heart tells you. Thaz the only way to go. Lots of love ...
Right out of my undergraduate program, I started teaching. I taught kids who were guests of the State, and who had high truancy rates and learning disabilities. I did that for three years -- got an ulcer -- changed schools. Another two years -- repeat ulcer -- and I realized it wasn't the kids. It wasn't imparting the knowledge. It was the BS from the adults. The paperwork. The soul-destroying corner cutting.
You have to take the bull out of what you love somehow.
I went back to school and volunteered with kids. I interact with them differently, and through my writing. I don't ever say I'll never go back into the classroom -- I was good at what I did, and I loved it. But there has to be this time of doing something else.
I haven't gotten burnt out on writing, but Tea, you're a person who seems to give 110% to whatever project your launch yourself into, saving nothing for yourself. It's a gift, but a few reserves are a gift you will someday be able to give yourself.
(You don't have to approve this comment; I didn't mean to get this personal. I so look forward to reading your book.)
I love your blog.
Indeed your posting has been infrequent recently but it is all good. I understand people have lives outside of their blog and that blogging is sometimes moved down on the priority list and that is all good. I love that you can be honest about how you are feeling and who is to say that taking up goat farming is not a noble venture? It would certainly make for interesting blogging. However you decide to transform your blog it will all be good. Or if twitter is now your thing, that is good too.
Sometimes when I read a blog regularly and the blogger hasn’t posted in awhile I often wonder about what is happening in their life and hope that all is well with them. I think readers form virtual bonds with writers and see them as friends who we grow to care about. Which was demonstrated by “A” when you revealed who you are to her. Maybe that is why this is described as a “social network”.
Sometimes when I don’t feel like blogging or think I don’t have anything to contribute, I post a picture. I also have two blogs one that is just about my life generally which is anything and nothing and the other is a spiritual blog. “Toblogtoday” is about what inspires me, keeps me balance, and links to other spiritual blogs primarily Buddhist in nature.
Sometimes when we are in a funk we must force ourselves to connect with people because staying in that space will only perpetuate the feeling. As humans we desire to know that we count and that what we do has meaning. In a cosmic sense we are all connected and contribute to this reality. People will come and go from our life, we will move, change jobs, whatever but are always connected. Sometimes all we need is a good book and a nice cup of tea.
I have been a long time fan of your blog! :) If I run into trouble getting my motivation going I 'mix it up' so for example if I am getting bored with cooking I will switch over to a type of food I never cook eg. do a week of Mexican cooking. If I am bored with my camera I will try something like only look for red or take a picture of my meal everyday. I guess I try to keep it interesting for myself?
So, I read a post from young adult novelist Kristin Cashore right after reading yours, and feel it's relevant:
---
Here is a wise thing a dear friend wrote to me once: "Throw pleasing everyone out the window. Throw pleasing anyone out the window. Just do things for yourself. Just be you. There is no way on earth that just being you is not enough -- just being you is galaxies more than enough."
--- http://bit.ly/7PMRm
And yes, "what happens when that act of joy becomes the thing you wake up to every morning—the thing you have to do?" I know this feeling very well. One thing that does not help, in my experience, is telling myself how many people would love to have my job (as they often tell me). It doesn't matter what they think; it has to work for me.
One thing that does help is experiencing and recalling the moments of joy. Like when I read a fabulous new novel like Cashore's Graceling, and can immediately put it in the hand of a kid who I know will love it, and who DOES love it. Those moments are very sustaining.
What lovely flowers. I almost could smell them through the screen.
I obviously love food, love writing. But sometimes keeping up with the blog DOES feel overwhelming.
I find it helps me a lot to have completely computer-free days sometimes. If it's bad, I'll walk away for several.
I've also been known to open a cookbook, close my eyes, flip through the pages, and whatever page I land on, I have to make it. Unless, of course, it's something vile. Then I give myself a re-do.
Love the blog!
Mmmm. The way my RSS feeder works, the first thing I saw was dahlias... and I clicked immediately, of course. Flowers are one of my greatest passions of course. And then I was drawn in, deeply, by your words.
I am a new fan of Tea & Cookies, and I am also a new 'blogger', (both really started 5 months ago). What you are writing about, (preserving the spark and passion), has definitely occurred to me already.
Have you read 'The Artist's Way'? I am a painter, (that has actually been my main focus, and I show nationally). The book helped me to work through some of the issues you are talking about. A friend gave it to me. Taking a creative passion and turning it into a career has many joys, but there are also distinct disadvantages. You are hitting the nail on the head. Accepting the ebb and flow is part of the answer but I think there is more. I am curious to read what others say. And goats? Why not? That goes along with food blogging!
Sending you lots of hugs ... and rooms filled with dahlias.
xo
Michaela
I just remember that there are fallow seasons to everything - including things that you love.
I knit. When I started as a college freshman it was all I did in the evenings--I made elaborate jackets, blankets, hats...even an entire dress! Last winter I started a skirt, but then I got caught up in classes-->graduation-->finding work, and the poor thing sat there untouched for 12 months, halfway through a line of stitches.
I just picked knitting up again a few weeks ago and rediscovered how fun it was. But I must admit, when you're 3/4 of the way through a scarf and tired of same 30-stitch pattern over and over again, it is tempting to abandon it for another year. Fortunately, knitting is one of those things you don't have to keep your mind on 100% while doing, so I can listen to music or books on tape, watch movies, etc. to make the work go faster.
If I had to knit for a living, I don't think I could stand it. It's too darned repetitive. There are some hobbies with enough daily variety to survive becoming a profession--like gardening--but I don't think food writing or knitting are in that select set unless you're really passionate about it. What made the hobby appealing in the first place was "newness"; learning and accomplishing things you haven't before. If you do it so often you run out of things to learn and reduce yourself to repetitive tasks you've already mastered, the hobby has lost its purpose.
You are so right! Once I read a very interesting book and the writer said, that if you really do, what you raeally, really want and what you love you will be happy. And if you are happy, you will be successful. I think, he is right! Best wishes from Germany!
hobbies: photography, cooking, reading, knitting. There are times when I don't feel like doing any one of those activities. Other times life activities get in the way of hobbies (I didn't knit for almost a year after giving birth to my second child). When uninspired, I am usually able to find the energy/interest again by watching and enjoying others creativity in this arena. Cruising Flickr or attending a photography exhibit, splurging on a sitter and enjoying a dinner at a fantastic restaurant, browing knitting patterns on Ravelry, or switching the genre of books I check out - all of these are ways that I foster that spark that makes me want to be active in these areas on a daily basis.
Thank you for sharing these thoughts. I've been going through something somewhat similar lately and it's difficult to reconcile. I'm stuck in a job doing something that I, to put it gently, do not love. Lately, my time and energy has been so consumed by the work I still must do to pay the bills that it's hard to find the time to keep up with the things that I do love, to not let them weigh on me as another neglected obligation, and it is particularly difficult to hold onto those fleeting flashes of inspiration. How to do it all?
My thoughts are, take care of yourself. I think many of us find ourselves scrambling to balance everything, and there just isn't always time. Sometimes that means certain things are left to wait for a bit (like my unswept floors, for instance-*cringe*). Also, even the deepest loves can seem a little (or a lot) less shiny every now and then, but if you stick through those chaotic times, you can come to know it better and love it in an even more complex way.
So take your time. Do what you need to do. We'll still be here.
I'm standing on the precipice and looking into that abyss - my hobby-turned-job is in the middle of its (first?) busy season...
Basically, I don't rely on that to be my creative-relaxing-fun thing anymore (although there's nothing like starting a forbidden project in the same genre to get the juices going again - perhaps trying a pen-to-paper writing project on something totally unrelated to what you might get paid for??). I dive into fabric, or cooking, or even running. They feed back into the job just the same way as having that hobby used to keep things sane in everyday life.
As for keeping up momentum - yeah, some of it is just forcing the slog. Some days the slog is only there for the first half hour, and then things hum along nicely. Some days I end up having to throw out all of the previous day's work, because the slog just produced muck. But it still adds up faster in the long run than only diving in when the sparks are flying. The sparks do come back - and you never know if 30 minutes from now is when that's going to happen!
I had to give some serious thought before I commented on your post.
You have been blogging quite a while so I really can't speak to that aspect of things. I have only been doing this a year. So I am not burned out- I still love it.
I disagree about bloggers completely switching to Twitter. Twitter is short and to the point. What's to become of those long foodie stories? What about step by step instruction? Really important for new cooks. What about the great photography? It's sort of like e-books. I like the book in my hand, not in a machine.
As far as hobbies are concerned: I suggest you read Confections of a Closet Master Baker. She actually addresses your quandry.
By the way, I simple adore dahlias so loved your photos!
Those dahlias are completely stunning.
I'm struggling with this myself lately. I'm a creative writer who has a day job in the marketing office at a university. So I get paid to write, but - it's all buzzwords and lingo and what our customers want. Sometimes it's hard to remember that my own work is still there, and still joyful.
I don't have the answers. But I do know I'd go crazy if I didn't have a couple of other hobbies, like knitting and cooking. And yes, breaks are necessary every once in a while.
I love cooking and baking -- partly because I love good food, but mainly because I love feeding other people and enjoying the social atmosphere that flows from that. It's not something I can do everyday, and occasionally when a cake goes bad, I give it up for a week or so, but I always come back. I also love going new places, singing in the car, and reading. I think too much of any one thing leads to a bit of a burnout. But if you love it, you come back to it. That's just the way things seem to go sometimes.
PS. Love your blog. Been reading it for some time now.
Hi Tea. Ohhhh...I do know what you mean. I've always *loved* to read and write, but going through a PhD program in literature, I've found that I never read or write for fun anymore. During my off time, I want to do something else. Cooking and singing are my something else.
But. I've also found that staring at the computer is the thing I get most tired of writing-wise, and that if I pull out a notebook and pen and find a new spot to curl up, writing can feel relaxing again, and like it's something for me.
Good luck to you with this...I really sympathize.
I love finding another reason to love Chicago all over again. I moved here 3 years ago for law school from TX, knowing absolutely no one. Sometimes I have to wonder why I am still here (way more expensive living, winters, far from home) but then I find something in the city that makes me love it all over again (cute little quiet street with greystones, unexpected meal, new friends).
How beautiful! Love the flowers. I love your words too, and I dont mind if they are few and far between since they are just a little gift that I sometimes find in my reader. If you're not enjoying writing it then you should definitely leave it.
I think you've probably hit on one of the big problems in life, transitioning into doing what you love as a job instead of a hobby.
I really love to make cakes for people and I am considering it as a full time venture, but this weekend totally kicked my ass, and I really just dont have much energy for it at the moment, so I can definitely appreciate how its not always fun to change to actually being paid for what you love to do, maybe its not so much fun when you need to make money from it. You've somehow managed to post exactly what I was thinking myself!!
Also, I kind of dont like twitter that much, I'm trying to get into it but I'm trying to work out how to filter out the good stuff from the noise. I hope that little chunks of info wont replace carefully engineered blog posts with beautiful pictures.
I am still trying to figure out what I love and how to manifest my passion into something I want to do. Right now, many things in my life feel new because I am newly married and living in a new place. It is a fun and frustrating challenge to create a new life for myself. As for what I would like to see on the blog, I love reading your words. You had mentioned before writing about books that you enjoy. You could also try just writing short blurbs about what brought you joy on a particular day or getting a book of writing prompts. Maybe the way to reignite your passion for the blog is to try approaching it in different ways. In any event, I will miss you if you go only to Twitter. I really love your thoughtful and enjoyable prose.
Tea,
These dahlias are lovely & brought back so many childhood memories as soon as I saw them! My grandmother use to grow them and I loved walking through her garden when I was small, taking in how pretty they were, I loved how the bees use to sit right in the middle. She passed away when I was 18 (now am 42) and I do not know anyone who grows them. I keep saying that when we get our house, it will have an area where I can grow dahlias amongst other favorites!
I use to work the big corporate ladder & 8 years (really 9, the year of pushing myself to the edge of the plank to jump), I left that part of my life and completely re-orangized everything from relations to what was really important to me. I now work for myself, which gives me the freedom to cook, work on my photography and write a food blog about our lives and what we love to eat. This has in turn made it easier for me to love the little things more freely and to do what I want to do. The site may not be perfectly written; but, it is about us (we are not perfect) and I am doing what I love and for that I am a better person!
Thank you for starting my day with a very lovely post!
It is always a joy to read your blog and as soon as I see you've an entry up on my reader ... I click on yours first.
Here is a lady, worked for MacLean's, turned shepherd ....
http://www.marshaboulton.com/
I just finished her book, "Letters From the Country Omnibus" ... very humerous and fun ... you might well enjoy it in your current state! She is a Canadian author ... writing is how she sustains the farm.
I noticed, in reading her book she had named one of her dogs Mingus so I emailed her and told her we had named our dog Mingus and thought we were so original only to find someone else had beat us to the punch. She wrote back and sent a picture too. I was so amazed that she would answer.
Anyway, people tell me I should make money out of some of my hobbies but I already know that they wouldn't be fun anymore, so don't even go there. I worked at a mundane job that paid reasonably well and enjoyed my time off for me. Not really an answer to your dilemma ... I've no answers.
I always thought I'd like to own a small restaurant or a B&B ... until I prep cooked for a month in a missionary children's school in Cote d'Ivoire. Cooking for 70, 3 meals a day, every day for one month with limited ingredients squelched any such desire.
I don't Twitter so would really miss it if you didn't blog once in a while. I think twittering and blogging are two different animals!
Hope you keep on going on!
What a thought-provoking post! As a musician, I know what it means to do your dream full-time. But I guess I always give myself breaks; I have gone months without writing or performing sometimes. I just assume, like Danielle said above, there are times when creativity needs a vacation too. And I try to take advantage of the times I am feeling inspired. If it's something you love, it'll loop back! One doesn't feel like flourless chocolate cake allll the time!
Oh Tea... I know exactly what you mean. Going through a slightly similar thing myself. You also have to remember that two years on a book can drain some creative juices out of you. I've gone through this twice in my life and for me what has always worked is to step aside for a bit and travel. After traveling, I also need time to digest what I have seen, but then amazing things have come out of it. I can't imagine Twitter taking the place of blogs... You think?I love the "intimacy" and pause of a blog. But I could be completely wrong. Confusing times.
Sending you good energy tea. Makes me want to get on a plane to Seattle and take you out for coffee and a chat! xx
At least once during my career, which I love, I had to take an extended break from it. When people asked me why I did so, I remember thinking that I just didn't want to get to the point of dreading this work.
I've even done the same with my favorite hobby. I've either taken it down a notch, or stopped altogether for a period.
To echo what others have stated, taking a break can do wonders!
I absolutely adore your blog!
This post made me smile, and nod, and sigh a bit, Tea. I don't know what the right answer is, and I'm facing some burnout in my regular worklife right now while feeling like I don't have nearly the time/energy to do all the writing I want to do. It requires solitude, that writing, and that's just not what I want.
But I think you're getting some great advice from folks here, and I, too, appreciate the words you share, when you share them, even if that's not as often as before. It's OK -- we all have rhythms that dip and swell and change over time. Be true to yours, and all will be well.
So great to see you this weekend...still not sure how I missed your trip Tweets along the way, but it was such a lovely surprise to see you on Saturday night -- that, actually, may have been made better by the unexpectedness of it!
xo...
Ah, Tea, I'm one of the many who are charmed by your blog, and hope you'll continue. As a longtime goat lover, I'd absolutely LOVE posts about that new career. I have two friends who make farmstead goat cheese, and they are (happily) consumed with their adventure, so I'm wondering how much time you'd have to write if you choose that path.
I share your quandary. I am writing a book about farmers markets, a topic that is my passion. But the modest advance is not covering the travel expenses, and the research is so time intensive I can't take on other projects right now. I'm glad I'm a good saver so I can afford to take this time to write about what I love, and each week I fall in love again with the growers and ranchers and goat cheese makers I meet. But sometimes I wonder about taking a job that pays better, and keeping my interests as soul-satisfying escapes.
When I think about it, we are all so lucky to have these choices, to live in a time where we can explore what moves us, and have so many options to make our way in the world. I trust the universe will bring you to a great place.
Cheers,
Janine
I think you would make a wonderful goat farmer. And I would happily spend time with you working out the cheesemaking. And maybe it is time for a break. I've seen and heard the burn out in you. Sometimes you just have to walk away for awhile.
People used to say I should go into catering or open a restaurant. While I am not that good (even tho they may think I am), my answer was always that it would spoil it, take the fun out of it. I work for a living and don't always like what I do, but that is for money. I write and cook for love. I always felt that if I had to take what I loved and did it for money, I wouldn't love it anymore. While that may not be the case for everyone, I believe it to me true for me.
I write when I can, and don't stress about it other times. My blog has always been a way for me to practice writing, to share with my friends and family what I cook. If others like it, want to read it, I think that is great, but it never was conceived as a financial endeavor. Purely a thing of love. And I might add, a thing of love that you encouraged me to start. A very gracious thank you for that.
You will find your way. I am sure of it. In fact, I think you are on the path now to a new life, and I am excited to see where it takes you.
best of luck to you always...
This is @jkwseattle. The way I keep loving what I do is to keep all the love plates spinning. Remember the Ed Sullivan guy that ran around keeping plates on sticks spinning? I used to worry that I was a dilettante, but now I accept that I'm just fueling multiple loves. More in my blog post here: http://jeniferkward.blogspot.com/2009/08/i-like-to-play-dress-up.html
I travel. For me, nothing beats ennui better than a trip to a place I've never been. New sights, new sounds, new smells, new perspectives — they change me. And they make me want to pick up my journal and write the way I love (the way I often cannot when facing deadlines or the confines of publishing). And when I've been traveling for 8 months straight, and I'm tired of the constant movement, I go home and sit still for a while. I see everything through different eyes.
Such beautiful flowers - they make my heart sing!
After 19 months of food blogging, I was avoiding the computer, reaching for recipes that I'm not sure were me. It helped to know if I needed some time to think, I took it, and hoped my readers would understand. And you're not the only blogger who's musing about goat-farming, or cheese. That occurs to me regularly - that, and moving over a state to VT. Or Maine & lobsters, or Mississippi and a little cafe:)
I started training in January for an Olympic distance triathlon that took place in July. As it got closer to July, I wanted to do anything BUT swim, bike and run. I dreamed of going to museums, reading and doing all the things I hadn't had time for. And after I did the triathlon, I really didn't have a strong desire to swim, bike and run as much. And so I didn't.
This isn't the first time this has happened. I have found that if I just take a break and do something else, eventually I want to run, or bike or swim again. Sometimes it takes a week. Other times it takes longer. But if you want to sustain your hobby for a long period of time, you sometimes have to take breaks from it. And eventually you will pick it up again.
We all have times when we are just tried and we need to take a rest from life. Sometimes it just a matter of regrouping oneself or change things all together. You just have to look in your heart and just listen to what your soul wants and go with it and find peace within yourself and be happy with it.
This is such a thoughtful post and I, for one, never thought you were totally joking when you mentioned the goat farming on twitter (because I think when we say things like that it comes from a place within that is considering the actual possibilities).
I've been there, and it only took 10 months of 7am to 1am workdays (I work in film post-production where the movie will come out on the scheduled release date come hell or high water), so 7 years is really understandable. In my case, I needed to get past my exhaustion to be able to make a rational decision, so I took an unpaid 6-week leave and went on a 5-week trip to Australia and New Zealand by myself without a plan, just plane tickets and a car rental reservation, the lack of planning being a total departure for me. I think there's something to be said for stepping back and taking a break if you can and doing something totally different and out of character. You may not be able to take a break altogether from writing, but don't make it an exercise in torture by forcing yourself to write on the blog as well. You have a gift, but sometimes gifts need a little break from all the expectations that are put on them too.
We'll still be here when you come back, and I know I'll be eager to read about what you've been doing away from the computer.
Hi, I have never commented here before - I am by nature a lurker. I have read every post - even when I clear out the rest of my reader, I always stop for yours. And I think it is because of something that you capture in your little about statement "it is about the intersection of food and life." I love the balance and innate struggle that that statement implies. This statement really does encapsulate what your blog and your writing captures so well. Your writing has lured me into the world of food blogs and made me more conscious of the ways food intersects with my life.
I am an English PhD student in DC and I plan to specialize in the intersection of food and literature - because that is what I love. This blog is one of the things that helped me find my way to that. So thank you. My heart aches a little at the thought of that ending. But I know that ache is, at least partly, my selfish wish to continue to have access to the amazing awareness you bring to life here. I hope you find your joy.
I think you are a very brave person to do what you love as your job. It is really tough sometimes when something that is your passion becomes something you hae to force. Part of it may be that you have learned behaviour in how you do that thing, and you have to unlearn and find a new way, so that you can enjoy it and not let it stress you too much.
Your blog is wonderful, but it should be something you do as and when you have time to enjoy it. It can be the little bit of writing that you don't have a deadline for.
Whenever I see you have posted, I get a little bit excited, and your blog is one of the four food ones my freinds can actually name becuase so many things I've cooked them have come from here. I would hate to think you hadn't enjoyed actually writing it. You seems pretty strong person, so I'm sure in time you'll work out a balance. We'll all be here still reading when you do(always remember you are awesome).
xxx
Tea - it was so nice to meet you this weekend! I've felt blogging and cooking burnout, and I haven't been officially at it that long! I love to cook, and I've always loved to cook, and I started blogging because I like to cook and I wanted to share it. I think what helps is both to keep at it (I was inspired by both Elise and Ree talking about how the writing is hard for them. It doesn't have to be easy) and also to try to rediscover what you loved in the first place. Give yourself a break and cook something without photographing it, eat at a place that's new to you, dig out your favorite old cookbooks. And if all else fails, go to a food blogging conference and meet amazing people and hear amazing people speak and get inspired all over again!
tea, i think the most important thing with writing as a job is to find the right amount of work. when i first started writing, i wanted to write full time. the closer i got to that goal, the less i enjoyed the creative parts. these days, i'm working part time in a restaurant and part time on my writing. i find it's the balance that keeps it fun.
all the best,
elspeth
Dear Tea,
I stop in at your blog frequently, and love it for your words of beauty, inspiration, and delicious wisdom. Today I paused here for your photos of dahlias, my favourite flower, and to leave my thoughts on your question on how to keep alive the spark for the things we love most.
My passion for reading, writing and classical piano have been constant in my life since I was little. Over time, my passions have remained, in part because I have let their role in my life change.
There used to be a time when I would practice piano for 2 hours a day, and teach for 30 hours a week. Today, I play a sincere sonata or two on quiet Sunday evenings. I used to devour a new novel every week. Now I read poems and to my own surprise, business books with gusto. I used to write poetry and short stories, agonizing over the nuance of words and turns of phrases. Today I scribble brief thoughts in my fledgling food blog.
To keep my passion for all of these things alive, I have simply accepted that it is okay for them to move into a different place in my life as I change over time.
I wish you the best of luck as you discover how food writing will fit into your life in the future.
Hello Tea! I stop by your blog periodically to read what you're up to. I'm in the midst of a huge life transition right now, so reading blogs is a bit of an escape for me.
I'm a painter by trade, but times are tough and I've worked a boring office job for years to pay the rent. And I found that my art suffered because of the draining, life sucking existence that was my day job. So I went back to school to become a clinical massage therapist. I'd been going to one for years to naturally treat my migraines, and found that it was quite fitting to my personality and the way I'd like to live my life.
So now, my goal is balance. I hope to make money from both my art and my massage practice. Indulge in my own artistic explorations while helping others find comfort and healing. Converge my love of all things creative, with that of science. It's been a struggle, filled with frustrations, little sleep, and many opportunities to give up. But I hold close the fact that I'm giving my life meaning, and straying from the norm, and pursuing the things that I want to pursue. It's all basically one big experiment. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
If I've learned one thing, it's that it's ok to have doubts. That means that you care about what you're doing and the impact you have on others. And that we're supposed to question our place in this world. It's what keeps us moving forward. Ok, that was two things. Apparently I'm much wiser than I thought.
I look forward to reading more posts, and following your journey.
Gorgeous flowers...seems like it would be impossible to ever get dahlia growing burnout! I was just in San Francisco recently and stopped by the dahlia garden in Golden Gate park. It was truly stunning, and the volunteers that tend the garden seemed blissfully happy. But then, as you point out, it is not their "have to do" but rather "want to do".
Hey there Tea,
Have been enjoying your blog & photos, not to mention the good recipes.
Yes, it has been recognizable the difference between wordlessness blogging and the art of converstation via a well written and thoughtful blog.
Consider this : step back from your immediate situation to gain some perspective, and in the meantime dig in some dirt, plant fall bulbs, goat farm if you must. The process will allow you to lose yourself in creativity until either you regain the spark or become the farmer.
We women do the tend to be the caretakers of all but ourselves. In the end we would be more available to ourselves & others if we would but take that time for ourselves. Could be it's your time for you. Don't feel guilty ,just do what you have to do to get you where you need/want to be.
Now this twitter thing--it's just another scare tactic. Blogging, like good manners, will never go out of style.
My thoughts are with you in your journey. Vickie
No!!! Nooooo!!!! Not this. Not when I just discovered your blog! Noooooooooooo.....
On a serious note, everything is cyclical. Energy transfers. All that begins will end, and every ending begins something else. This happens in the physical world around us (think about how your garden changes from season to season, for example), and there is no reason that the human brain shouldn't work the same way.
Some folks can slave at a job they were never crazy about their whole lives; in that case, not much energy was needed to begin with, and it is feasible to keep plugging away at the same pace. In the garden analogy, these would be your perennials. Others rely on inspiration or passion to guide them. These are more like your seasonals. In this latter case, it is unnatural to maintain the same career at a monumental energy level your whole life. Eventually that energy must disperse into a different area, or several.
My cycle as a blogger is just beginning. But you've been doing this long enough to have come to a legitimate fork in the road. If you give it the old college try and it's just not working out anymore, go be a Twittering goat farmer. I'm sure your biggest fans would prefer you to be happy.
That said, you have a great gift for writing, and I'd be sorry to hear that the end of your blogging "season" coincided with the beginning of mine. If that's the case, I hope you can find enough spark left to continue blogging part-time. I'd love to read about your goat-farming adventures!
This post is beautiful and it brought tears to my eyes as it rings with truth. I keep all of these thoughts in my head and my heart and I could never put them down onto paper (or pixel) like you have just done with such wisdom. You have a powerful way with words and you probably can find similar success with gardening, permaculture or goat farming. So thank you for sharing your words and your gift and when you get back into the PNW, let's meet up again because maybe we need to talk seriously about this goat farming business. I'm ready to find some land!
Have you read 'The Year of the Goat'? If not, you DEFINITELY need to. Also, I really enjoy your blog, but I know what it is like to realize you hate the thing you thought you loved, when that thing becomes your job. Am currently struggling with that exact situation. My advice is not to be afraid to walk away from something. You can always come back. But for me, walking away felt like a huge relief. Good luck, and definitely check out that book!
I struggle with this dilemma often, as do many of my creative women friends. And in fact I gave up my floral design business and moved overseas only to want it back desperately. So now I'm back in Austin rebuilding. Seems like I always want what's on the other side of the fence - the adventure of something new, or a job I'm passionately invested in, sometimes to a fault.
Being a floral designer may have similar advantages to the food world, as flowers arrive new each season, sparking squeals of glee.
As many have said, balance seems to be the key. Can you take a vacation? Attend a class, teach one? Maybe reserve your writing for books now, and find a hobby to replace blogging (I'm not seriously suggesting this, because then I couldn't enjoy your wonderful wit and photographs). I know the day your book comes out it will seem worth the drudgery, and maybe your next one is supposed to be about goat farming after all :). Every life needs evolution. Follow what your instinct tells you.
Tea, as usual you have put it just perfectly and right. I have just given up my personal chef gig because I started to not love cooking and that was an alarm bell to me. There are other reasons of course, family being one of them, but I just needed a new direction. Just know that there are many who love this blog and we are patient for the posts to come when you are inspired to write them. And let's get together soon!
Maybe there are more important things in life than eating, cooking and blogging.
I do what I love part time, and work a day job part time. But I could not look at my life and see that I spent it doing frivolous things.
I am extremely lucky in that I love my job. But although I love it completely, and wouldn't want to do anything else, there are parts of it that are soooo boring and annoying and frustrating. I am doing what I have been dreaming of doing since I was 10, and have definitely had fear of "what if my dream isn't all it's cracked up to be?" And to be honest, it isn't what I dreamed, but it is still great. And like others have said, I hold on to those moments that are just perfect and everything goes right, and I try to remember them when things are not as inspiring as I would hope.
I don't have any advice. I don't even have much to say, except thanks for saying what I've been feeling lately too. Knowing that others are going through it makes me feel better. xoxox
Briana
Like you I love both cooking and words - but try to deliberately capture their passion, and it's work. It took me a full year after leaving restaurants to love cooking again, and it's hard to find wonder in writing when you're doing it on command. That said, we're lucky to work at them both.
Burnout? Nothing reignites my heart like travel, and I suspect you feel the same. Even a few days' new scenery stirs the view and charges words, observations, and the senses. I hope you keep loving what you do, Tea - your unique gift lets you do it so well.
I've been reading and enjoying your blog for some time, but this is my first comment, because this post resonates with me pretty deeply. I'm about a year into a PhD in cell biology. After years of wishing and hoping and waiting for the day when I could focus on my science to the exclusion of all else, I'm finding myself forgetting the very fascination and wonder that lead me to my field. Usually what it takes for me to get the passion back is to take a break. I've realized that no matter how much I love my science, my life cannot be one-sided. I need regular breaks to play my viola, sketch, cook an elaborate meal, read food blogs, or just play with my cat, and when I return to my work I'm usually rejuvenated. Occasionally I have to take a longer break. When my data stop making any sense at all and I dread going into lab, that's when I take a weekend (or longer) in the woods. Balance is important. It must be easy to forget this when your former break is now your work.
But when all else fails, what brings me back to what I love about biology is telling someone else about my work, especially someone who knows very little about what I do. When I talk about my work to someone who isn't as intimately acquainted with the nitty gritty of it as my lab-mates and I are, I stop worrying about getting the particulars right, and the wonder comes back. Sometimes I go back to my high school biology textbook and read through my notes in the margin. On almost every page, there's at least one sentence underlined and accompanied by "!!!!!!!." I love my work, I really do, no matter how much it frustrates me.
Thank you for sharing what you love with us. I'll keep reading, whether you post once a day or once a year. Although I would not object to some delicious goat cheese instead, if it came to that.
It's so good to find you here again.
I do feel that passion is a lot harder to come by than I grew up believing.
My personal tactic is to stop if the passion isn't there, dabble in other things, and come back feeling refreshed.
Of course I selfishly never want you to leave your blog because I love reading your writing so much, but taking time away can be a good thing. I actually don't think the goat farming sounds strange at all. Making goat cheese would be such a great adventure.
Thanks for being so open about what your feeling. I just found your blog recently, but it's lovely, and it looks like you have a lot of readers you can look to for encouragement!
Having just started my own blog, I know the exhilaration that can come with stringing words together to capture a thought, an idea, a memory. But upon leaving a journalism job a couple years ago I felt I had to rediscover how to write. Moving past that hurdle--to rediscover the pleasure of working on my own writing projects--has been wonderful.
Thanks again for sharing. I hope you find encouragement from your readers, and from the other people in your life.
I just found your blog thru Tartelette's tweets. Your pictures are gorgeous!
Wonderful and well-written. Thank you for sharing your honest feelings. I think you're expressing what a whole lot of bloggers are feeling.
I love baking, quilting, stamping, and scrapbooking. Each of those I've taken a sabbatical from and come back to it energized with renewed passion.
My best tip is to make it less of a responsibility and to take away some of the pressure - so you don't have the energy to post one of your beautifully long and structured pieces - post a picture and a couple of sentences. Get it out there and be done with it. So it’s not food related, so what. You’re listening to a good song, you love the lyrics. Post them. You read a great book and were touched by an excerpt – post it. You spent a weekend with your nieces and got some great pictures – share. No guilt, no pressure - just to enjoy it. Get back in touch with WHY you love food and writing. I think from there you may rediscover the joy and it will feel less like a job.
I so enjoyed your post. It's always a challenge, isn't it? In my twenties, I figured it was all just a symptom of the good ol' "mid life crisis"...now I see it doesn't necessarily get better. I will say as a new blogger, your posts are always inspiring and fresh. You have a definite voice that shines through. Keep it up, girl. Oh, I find that these things help me: nutella, almond m & m's, Sweet and Salty trail mix from Trader Joe's and Karmel Sutra ice cream from Ben & Jerry's :)
What a lovely, touching and relatable post. Was just in the lost inspiration hole over the past 3 months and after time away, just doing daily things finally the passion and the urge to blog built up again... That's all I can suggest - that and tea, lots of tea.
look at all these special comments! you are so loved! wish i had secrets to share, still trying to make sense of this precious life. Your blog is a joy to visit, you are appreciated ~
I had an undergraduate professor said that writers needed some ways of feeding the soul that does not include writing. And I would go on to say that every human being needs more than one way to keep their spark alive--to be fully present and alive. Be it gardening, cooking, sky diving, finger painting, knitting, walking, meditation, drawing, reading, going to museums, holding a baby or watching the sea---all the activities and more enable us to live, enable us to praise our lives, enable writer's to capture the truth, enable us all to communicate.
It is hard to stay motivated and life will throws waves and curve balls (forgive the mixed metaphors), but it is up to us to nourish our souls. And I want you to know that You mediations and recipes inspire me to be more attentive, to be more present. Thank you
I think you have a lovely blog and would miss it if it were to end. I do not participate with Twitter because it is not in depth enough. Please continue your contributions to the blog world. By the way, the flowers in your current post are so beautiful.
Sincerely,
Leslie in CA
I really, really enjoy your blog, your writing and your lovely stories. Your photos always reel me into a quiet world after a long draining day. In fact, I think "Tea and Cookies" was one of the first food blogs I ever read.
Oh, I do know what you mean about finding inspiration and staying motivated. Dance has always been one of my true passions in life. I grew up dancing, studied dance in college and danced professionally for many years. I still dance today.
But, there have been times when it became a struggle for me to stay motivated because I simply had do it. I felt like there was so much expectation and demand placed on that part of my life, that dancing was just not fun for me anymore. I felt pressured, I lacked creative inspiration and I felt dry and stagnant.
I took a break from performing and went back to just learning and taking class when I wanted to. I began to feel the way I used to when my passion was just evolving. After many months, I felt the hunger to dance more and more, and eventually I picked up where I left off. I guess, I never really left. I just stepped aside for a bit of a breather. Dance has always been a part of my life in some shape or form because I feel that it's a part of who I am.
Anyway, there is a book I love called, "The Artist's Way," by Julia Cameron. Maybe you know it already. I pull it out and read it whenever I need a recharge.
Good luck to you.
I'm a student, so I've not yet had the opportunity to really do the things I love for a living yet (hopefully, I will one day). I know, however, that I love writing, food, nature, astronomy, and my gardens. I know that they will always be a part of me, and that although I may have lapses (and with creativity, who knows how long that hiatus could linger?) my adoration for these will always be with me. Take some time off, and don't even think about work/blogging/photography. Trust me, it's a foolproof plan! :-)
I love the pictures in this entry. So beautiful.
As for hobbies...my big hobby is acting. Right now it's just something I do in my free time...and it's something I never really get tired of doing. I've been acting for over ten years and I'm still happiest on a stage. I've done a few shows that were simply painful to do... but they eventually end and I move on to another show. And if I feel like I'm stuck in a rut where I'm just playing the same type of character over and over again...I try out for something new and maybe it works and people say "Hey, I've never seen you do that before" or it doesn't and I can say "Been there, done that, ready to move on."
One thing that can get me through the crappier shows... is just the knowledge that it will eventually be over. It's kind of a pessimistic way of looking about things, but it can be helpful too. The bad things have a deadline, and with the good thing - the good shows, in my case - I really try to relish them even more.
Now acting... I'm wanting to make this a career move. I'm to graduate this spring with a Master's in Spanish Lit and my big plan is to move, possibly to NYC, and try and just be an actor. I'm not gonna try to Make It Big. But simply...be a professional actor.
It scares the crap out of me. My boyfriend's doing this right now and I see all the work he does, all the traveling to auditions...I see how business-like it has become and it scares me. I'm scared I'll grow tired of it, that I'll never do another show again, that I'll be no good at the "selling yourself like a product" aspect of it...
It may happen, it may not. My dad used to be an actor and one day he just got tired of it. Left Los Angeles, went back home to Tennessee.
I calm myself knowing that I can do other things. If I do, in fact, get tired of it... I don't have to do it forever. I have options...teach, go to law school, go to med school...My dad made me work my butt off during college so I'd have these options because we don't always know what we want to do.
I've come full circle at this point - ha.
Anyway...I don't have a food blog so I don't know. But just... I would say, and I guess it's cliche, but remember the things about it that you love. Enjoy the cooking, the tasting, the creating... the blogging should be secondary... And maybe it means you post less...but you shouldn't drive yourself crazy.
And if gardening is your thing now...then do that.
One of the best things my dad ever said... was that you should never be doing a job that you dread going to each morning. If you're dreading the computer...take some time away... completely or even partially.
So... wow, that was...long. :)
I'm afraid that I am nearing the same boat that you are in. I'm a student working towards my bachelor of fine arts so that I can teach secondary art. About four years ago, I got accepted in an art program, and BOOM! All of a sudden, this deep seeded passion of mine became all about producing, all the time, in mass, and on a deadline. It's hard to keep the momentum, and not want to wash your hands of it at the end of a long day.
I took a little break these last couple of semesters to get some core classes over with, and will continue on with my art courses this coming spring. I haven't touched a paint brush since. I'm a bit turned off to the whole idea of it. But I think come spring I will have a different attitude.
I truly think that taking myself out of it all together was a mistake creatively (though in terms of timelines, and getting finished with a degree, it was most practical). My husband is so very encouraging when it comes to my work, but when it comes down to it, I think we creative folk just need to submerge ourselves, and be around others that have the same passions that we do.
A little friendly, creative (and silent) competition is always a nice little push as well. It always helps move me along, when I watch other people create such fantastic work.
I just wrote about this very thing on my blog this week...I am a counselor who's practice has been focused the last many years on helping artists unblock themselves. Basically, when there is a block/stop/boredom or apathy arising in the creative process there is a judgment you are making about yourself or the creative endeavor (i.e. the blog) There is a way to pop out of this by asking yourself a particular open-ended question. Rather than write the whole process here, if you feel like it, read my latest blog: www.thegameofyou.blogspot.com
All the best, Lynn
Tea,
I have many things I'm passionate about: Cooking, knitting, writing, drawing, puttering in the garden, just to name a few -- and I do get overwhelmed and lose my way, sometimes. Personally, when I feel that way, I tend to take a small break from my main focus of the moment and shift to another: I've been having problems staying on task with my knitting lately, so I'm shifting back to cooking as a passion.
Focusing on something else a little while gives me a kind of a break, and lets me come back with perspective. Can't say it would work for everyone, but that's how I manage.
Best of luck in finding what you need! I imagine we'll still be waiting for you. :)
I love to crochet, absolutely love it, lacemaking, toymaking, etc. But some days I can't pick up the freaking yarn. I usually spend that time searching for ideas, rather than doing, and a fun project gets me over the hump. I understand what you mean about blogging; I used to maintain two blogs. I haven't posted in months because my life is changing so much.
I love what you write and I love your recipes.
Another wonderful post, Tea. I hope that you start loving what you do again soon. You've created an enchanting space here, one that brings joy to many people.
Writing is my passion, too, but I have never (really) done it for a living, so haven't suffered that sort of burnout. Currently I'm working very little (16hrs a week!) and spending the rest of my time writing, reading, cooking, baking, biking, walking in the park... all for free, of course. The hard part is that you can't like spending money too much. When you just can't focus on a project, it can help to take up a new hobby--it'll distract you for a bit, and eventually you'll remember why you loved what you were doing to begin with. Easier said than done when you've got deadlines, right?
Best of luck to you.
I found your blog when I was living in Japan in 2005, and I've been reading it ever since. In answer to your question, I'm a grad student (in philosophy), so I know what burn-out feels like. But, I love academia, I love universities, and just stepping onto a campus makes me feel at home. The only thing I might like more is stepping into a museum, but that's another story (read: another career).
One day, I was in the middle of a week's vacation, and I said to my husband: "I feel kinda down, kinda depressed." He said: "Yes, well, you are on vacation." I said: "What do you mean?" He said: "Every time you take a break, you get depressed. You complain about how busy you are, but really you like it. You're a workaholic."
And I realized that he was right. But it's not really that I'm addicted to work--at least, not just any work. What I do in my field makes me feel worthwhile. No other job in the world makes me feel that way. And, when I'm away from it, I feel less worthwhile.
Since coming to this realization, I've stopped complaining so much about being busy, because I know that, whether I like it or not, I like the work. Maybe one day I'll get burned out on philosophy altogether, but for the time being I'm embracing the workaholism.
As someone who's recently started my own food blog, this was interesting to read. At the moment I am really excited about it and am so full of ideas that I am almost bursting! At the moment, I love writing but it is not my day job, unfortunately.
I don't think Twitter will be the death of blogs. Twitter is great for some things but it definitely has its limitations!
I think writing is like taking a photograph. You first look at the thing that grabs you, that makes it seem beautiful to you, and sharing it with your audience. I have many hobbies, none of which have ever turned into a job, and there's always a time that I have to step away and find the beauty again. It's like having new eyes, like the Proust quote, becoming a new person every time. Big hugs for whatever it is you are going through. You have a true gift for writing, I hope it will become your joy again.
Tea,
I can’t begin to tell you how this post moved me. I think anyone who had been passionate about something and then that passion dims understands the place you are in right now.
I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now (have never commented, but meant too…the soba noodles were wonderful and now make frequent appearances at my dinner table). It was a year in which you inspired me, made me laugh and showed me your world. I don’t remember exactly how I came across your blog but I too was in the process of writing my first book and your blog struck a chord in me I didn’t know existed. In my mind it went something like…’when I grow up, I want to have a blog as cool as Tea’s. Silly I know…but I was inspired. I shared your love of cooking, international flavors and how much of our lives wrap around what we do with food.
I don’t know how to tell you to keep your passion but I don’t want you to underestimate the power of what you do…the power to inspire, enlighten, and expand our worlds.
I recently came across a post by James Frey that I think you might appreciate. http://storyfix.com/1127 It talks about writing and why it is we do what we do, and it speaks to the very problem you write about. If you do read it, I hope it makes you laugh. I did. ☺
Lastly, as a reader of your blog, I want to tell you that it doesn’t bother me if you go awhile without posting. Take the pressure off yourself and say “It’s OK, not to write.” What I love about your blog is the joy you bring to your stories. Share with us when you can, we’ll love every post, but only write what your muse moves you to write...that is where you’ll find your passion again. If the passion isn’t there, stay in bed and know we’ll be waiting for when it does find you again.
I enrolled in a Mass Communication degree two years before the first private channel went on air in my country (Pakistan). And I chose this field despite having secured admissions in two top notch engeneerng universties. I myslef couldnt believe what I was doing and thought myself totally crazy.
But I wanted to write and back then, in 2001 , I didnt even know what a blog was.
A couple of gold medals and a very brief stint in news papers later, I ended up at the same first private news channel - which was by then the top most channel. Gave it four years, switched to another channel last year. The writing got sidelined.
The itch never stopped though - but now, even when I try to find my way back - I keep failing. I cant weave the magic in my words anymore and it makes me weep cause I used to be able to do that, and easily.
So, while I kind of know what you mean, I can only see you through totally envious eyes.
Best of luck finding your way back. :)
I love your blog, you were the second blog i fell in love with (first was cupcake bakeshop who is sadly no longer actively blogging.)You seem so melancholy lately Tea, that makes me sad. Life is sad, you just have to find the joy in our everyday living, or else this melancholy will take over. Twittering over blogging?? Never! Tell us more about your book. i am so proud, several of "my " blogger has given birth to books and i love each and everyone of those books.
It's a tough transition to turn what you love into a career - the pressure of earning a living and meeting deadlines changes the dynamics of what was once just a happy way to spend your free time. (I love writing, but also now do it for a living and can totally relate to everything you just wrote. The business of writing is very different from the hobby of writing, even when it's creative.)
I always ask myself this (a common question, I'm sure): if I won the lottery and money wasn't a factor anymore, if all my time was my own, how would I spend it? (Of course then you're right back at my previous point - you may adore goat herding now but do it full time and it may lose its lustre!) People change careers an average of what, 3 times over the course of their lives now? There's nothing wrong with switching gears once in awhile, even if it spins you in an entirely new direction. Life is to short to not do something you love. And just like with people, sometimes you fall out of love with something you were once smitten with.
I know exactly how you feel! I work on a lot of cooking shows away from home (like right now) and every time I go away I loose the energy to cook and write my blog and read my favorites! But don't worry you have some very devoted readers who will always come back!
Dear Tea,
I'm late to your party, I know. But here it is - the reason why I stopped writing, reading poetry and ..well, living for several years.
You wrote in a long ago post that a failed relationship had left you as broken as the sand dollars scattered by the tides. I read that and marveled that someone else, far away had managed to put into words, how broken I felt after one such relationship.
I burned out because I broke to pieces and sleep walked my way through life everyday for several years.It was only a few years ago that light crept back into my airless room.
Your blog (and Shauna Ahern's) helped. They're so filled with snippets of food, life, family and intermingled with sun filled photographs. They paint a picture of gentle yet profound happiness.
Like you, I've recently moved cities, making the difficult transition from a smaller, more culturally attuned city, to a larger harsher one. Like you, I also left behind an apartment filled with memories, healing and ghosts of dinner parties past. Your blog makes me feel less alone in this experience, in this walk through life and change.
In the years that I read your blogs, I began to heal, read and write again.
So thank you for your soba recipe (which I used all winter), your sun filled picnics and the beautiful pink fuchsia and red dahlia photos.
Keep writing. You bring light and food for the soul.
Hello Tea, This is a very thought provoking post. I've learned that what I love is not any one thing, but a group of things. Sometimes I grow tired of one thing or another and need a break. Sometimes that break extends and I end up saying goodbye for good. It seems the things I truly love, even though we need a break every now and again, always return and reignite my interest. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I love reading your posts, but you must do what is best for you. I know I'd buy some of your goat cheese!
Heres what one artist decided to do when he was confronted with the "7 year itch" - http://www.ted.com/talks/stefan_sagmeister_the_power_of_time_off.html
I quit my job in April and because of him, I have felt joy instead of guilt indulging myself for the last couple of months, so that the real me unmired by "should bes" and "must bes" can emerge....and thrive.
I also found this Tony Robbin's talk - http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_robbins_asks_why_we_do_what_we_do.html gave me the charge that I needed to examine honestly who I am now and what I want to do with it...as the person that I am becoming, not the person that I was.
Life has a funny way of going unchecked and your soul has the most elegant way of reminding you that perhaps just a slight change of course or perspective is needed.
You are asking all the right questions and doing so bravely by sharing it honestly with all the world to see.
I KNOW you will find you again - inspired,enpowered and unstoppable.
Wow. I'm just so glad that Food Buzz nominations lead me to your site. Your voice is INCREDIBLE. Really, truly, wonderful. Your words are welcoming, tender, generous, and revealing. I feel like I know you only after reading only a handful of posts. I look forward to reading more.
Congratulations on your nomination! It's an honor to be in the same category as you.
Best, Brooke
I don't have good answers to your questions. I don't know how I manage to muddle through each day...taking breaks to find little inspirations like your blog is one of them I guess. It seems like a constant cycle from inspiration to mad work to burn out. I think the key may be to not let yourself go so far that you burn out. There was an interesting discussion recently about this blog and blog-burnout and losing readers...:
Think Simple Now and how Tina Su doesn't post often but when she does it's brilliant and people take note. This is the article that discusses her blog, have a look, maybe it will give you some ideas on how to manage your blogging: Jonathan Fields' Blog.
Best of luck,
Sarah
I grew up watching tv instead of reading or playing outside and my family always poked fun. Now I get paid to edit comedy central shows! ...and it gives me headaches. I enjoy gardening and cooking most nowadays!
I was one of the other Master Gardeners at the table that day and I enjoyed your conversation. I came home and looked up your blog. I love it and am working my way backward through your entries. Your photographs are wonderful. Thanks for sharing your sensitive and creative ideas.
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